Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
