hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
