I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
