help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My pussy is not your playground.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
