Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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