This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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