just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
