You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
