Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
