We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You are the jesus of drinking
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
