You work out of a Hotel?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
