There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
