my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
