Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
