I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
