Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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