Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
