Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
