He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
