I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
