so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
