We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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