toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize