Dual....:-)
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
