What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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