She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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