I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
