i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
