Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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