i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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