I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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