Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize