i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
