feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
