i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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