i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
