I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
my poor anus
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
