That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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