Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
