im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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