On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
