just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
