shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
