i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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