So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
