So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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