i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
