is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
