He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
