I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
