Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
