I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
