Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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