I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize