Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
